One of the saddest things we do with ourselves is that, in an attempt to love others, we forget about ourselves. Sure, love is to be spread among people; it needs to be shown to our significant others, so that they feel special and secure. But, what about ourselves, don’t we need this special treatment? What about our own sense of security? The one that would make us accept ourselves for who we are. The one that would make us proud of our achievements and the one that would not put us down when we face failure. We need our own love as much as our parents, partners, friends or kids want from us.
Learning to love oneself may be a difficult task, because most of us come from places where loving oneself is considered to be a selfish act. We are taught to love others unconditionally, but if we say that we want to love ourselves, then we are termed as narcissists. But, there is a huge difference in being a narcissist and just loving oneself. When we love ourselves, apart from accepting ourselves as we are, we also understand that we need to improve, to be a better version of our own self.
I would not say that I had always been in love with myself. In fact, there had been times when I hated myself, for I blamed myself for a troubled atmosphere that prevailed in my house. I come from that part of the world, where, even now, most girls are not given the chance to choose their life partners, but somehow I dared to love. And for that, I was punished by making me face a house-arrest and even my studies suffered because of all that. Even then, I did nothing that could hurt my parents more, and never even thought of eloping, but my father never understood this and hated me for just being a human, who had a heart. As my dad was once my superhero, his hatred crept in me and even I hated myself, for exactly what, I still don’t know.
It took me years to understand that the entire situation was such because it was meant to be, and that I had done nothing wrong. I had loved a guy, but got separated from him. I had loved my dad, but he didn’t understand me. I had started to believe that I can never have the love of anyone I truly loved and that made me feel so lonely that depression caught up.
Over the years, I learnt to handle myself, I learnt to accept reality and then just like that I stumbled upon my identity, which gave me the biggest reason to love myself.
I was not allowed to go out to work, so I started freelance writing. Though, initially I wrote reviews, news articles, descriptive assignments, but I was happy because finally I was busy doing something. I found that I loved telling stories to people; I loved reaching out to people. This possibly stemmed out of my childhood dream to be a news anchor, and so, now I was this writer who had started telling stories of other people to the world.
Later, I landed a job and became the Senior Editor at a web-publishing firm (still working from home). The writer in me had to take some rest because of the new duties, but one day, I was given the task to write the story of woman who completed her graduation in 27 years.
The entire phase of interviewing her and writing about her gave me a new direction. Though, this lady was more than double my age; but after having read her life story in my words, she said to me, “Your purpose is very beautiful.” That was the day when I completely and finally understood that my purpose in life was to reach out to people through my words. I could not be an Editor, but only wanted to write. So, I quit that job and now I am what I am.
I may not be the best writer, but this is what I want to do. This is what I am deep in my heart, and when I found what I was, I also found that I loved myself for wanting to spread happiness and love through writing, even if I myself had always been going through some storm or the other.
I did not have the love of my father, or my partner at that time, but the new found love for myself gave me the confidence to face the world, and be happy with myself.
Over the years, I had learnt to live in my company, but now, I started to enjoy my company. I found so many beautiful things about myself that I never knew even existed in me. I realized, I didn’t need someone else’s approval or love to feel complete. And amazingly enough, through this realization, also came the feeling that now, when I will love someone, it will be with all my heart, but I won’t get hurt because I have my back.
They say, you cannot love someone else, if you don’t love yourself. Now, I know my guy is going to be one lucky chap, because I love myself and that will make me love him very dearly. But, yes, he will be notified that though his love will add great value to my life, but the absence of his love is not going to break me, for I have myself to love me first. 😉
Loving yourself is all about accepting yourself for who you are. It has the strength to make you feel confident in your skin; it has the ability to make you feel beautiful, it has the power to change your world.
You yourself have the key to change your world, and now you know that you can unlock the true treasures deeply seated in your soul by loving yourself. DO this and become your own Superhero! 🙂
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