When we are growing up, through that memorable childhood, then through those teenage years, all of us feel that life will be most ‘happening’ when we are in the 20s. I too had felt that, and this single thing put a great number of expectations as to how that decade of life should look like.
Very recently just last month I entered towards the second year of my 30s, and it had only been one year since I left the previous decade, but in that one year, I understood what those entire 10 years could not teach me. That is how, I felt compelled to pen this down, even though I know I will get more reasons to strengthen my belief that life gets better and not the opposite as we grow old.
The one thing I wished I knew in my twenties, was the fact that ‘life doesn’t end in those ten years.’ I really wish I had the intuition or knowledge to know and feel that taking all that pressure to get everything right in just those years, is nothing but only a pressure that society tends to put on you, right from the beginning. And that becomes the reason as to why almost everyone we see is in a hurry to complete their education, to get a stable job, to find the perfect career path and then also to find the perfect partner, and even start a family, if possible! My goodness, so much pressure during the time when we actually just start to learn the ways of the world around us.
The decade of the great learning!
Think about it, so many of our decisions before that time are the ones that have been taken by our family, parents, teachers, or at least have been influenced by their thoughts and beliefs. It is actually when we pass college or during those years of higher education that we start to live life in our own ways, the time when the government also gives us the right to vote and elect our representatives, the time when we know we are responsible for everything we do. But that doesn’t mean that we will get it absolutely right, literally every time. Just like how we struggled to stand up and walk during those toddler ages, we again learn to stand up for ourselves and walk the path that is going to be ours for the rest of our life.
We will definitely make mistakes, we will fall, but now we know we can get up because that is what we had learned way back when we were babies. So, the 20s become that stage of life when we start to walk again, but in a different manner this time. And, so, is it not unfair that we must find everything that is worthwhile just in those years?! Finishing your Ph.D., or any degree will still be great in the 30s, falling in love or getting married will still be fine later, starting a new business or a job, or finding your calling will still make you live life when you are way past your twenties. And these are just the most common things that happen in everyone’s lives, there are so many things for which people feel that they have now lost the chance just because they have crossed that crucial decade.
Of course, it is crucial, but in the manner that it teaches you to live life, it gives you the things and people that will help you grow not just then, but even later in life. For those, who have sorted most of it during this time, it is great, but for those of you who are still struggling with some of the things, please know that this decade is not your last one. You will get chances for everything, but what you will not get is the time you are now spending, worrying yourself to death that you are late!
Life is not a race against your acquaintances or the people who you think have sorted it all out. You may just not know, but there will be something they wish they had that you now have. Life is also not a race against time, where you will literally have to do everything by this or that age or the World ends. Although, this one may be a problem for the women who are constantly reminded of their biological clocks, but, if a woman wants to start her family, she definitely knows where she stands and till what point she can have that dream become a part of her reality, so no point in the World reminding her of that! Apart from the biological standpoint of things, there hardly is anything that you cannot achieve in the later phases of life. And if we have been talking about the twenties, then even those biological constraints don’t matter.
If you are someone in the 20s, and have been feeling the heat of your pre-planned statuses of goals or the ones made for you by the family or society, and that is bothering you to the core of your being, then the first thing I’d like to say to you is that I completely understand you! Yes, I do, because I too had been in that situation just two years back. And after I crossed the threshold, and got a full year to reflect, during which I actually grew most in the professional aspect, started to believe in myself and my dreams better, had better relations with friends and family, found the true calling of my life and during which time, I felt much happier than the previous years. All this has been even after some of those things that I wanted during that time have still not shown up, but more than feeling any lack of anything, I now know that running towards something and basically running to get the life sorted in 20s, is a big race that the World has made, and the one that should not be there. I had lived with that kind of pressure, but I am glad that I learned from it, and now have the courage to say it all. Maybe, this will help someone, and I do hope it does.
Today, I am at a peaceful stage, I know everything I dream of, that I truly want, will come true, I just need to live each moment for what it is and live to the fullest as much as possible. There is no point in rushing, or taking stress for something, that may not even be in your control. What is in your control though, is your perspective and attitude towards life and how you are able to react to life, overall.
This was just a short poem that came out of my heart during the writing of this article, hope you find some light in my words. Thank you for reading till here, and I promise to always give something of value in everything I create. Lots of love and luck to you.